Swirlee (found live-action short film; 1990)

File:Swirlee2.jpeg

Makeup artist Kelly Gleason applying the Softee makeup to Lorinz.

Swirlee was a 15 minute short film directed by and starring James Lorinz, famous for his roles in exploitation films such as Street Trash and Frankenhooker. It tells the story of Mr. Softee, a mutant hybrid with an ice cream cone for a head, who was the victim of the anti-miscarriage drug "Nodroppinum" which changed the pregnant mother's child into whatever food she craved at the time (a parody of the Thalidomide scandal from the 60's). Softee was the head of an ice cream company, until he was forced out of business by the artificial ice cream mafia, led by Don Tofutti. Softee is a depressed man who just wants to be accepted and at one point, attempts to commit suicide by dissolving in a warm bath.

Lorinz first thought of the idea in film school, and in 1989, after securing funds from a television appearance, he filmed a short, 15 minute test film to attract potential investors for a feature-length version. The film was written by Rocco Simonelli, produced by Roy Frumkes, and co-starred Street Trash's Tony Darrow as Don Tofutti and a then unknown David Caruso as Softee's roommate.

Despite the intention to present it as a gritty Mean Streets style drama, studios would only accept the film if it was retooled as a lighthearted comedy for children. Eventually, the project was simply abandoned.

To this day, although the full length short is occasionally shown at horror conventions, only the trailer has managed to surface online.

References

http://www.roccosimonelli.com/apps/documents/ Script Download